Edinburgh, Wednesday 2nd August, 2023.
They call it ‘Scotch Mist’ don’t they?
After the long and thankfully uneventful drive, I’m here. Safe in the bosom of the magnificent city of Edinburgh. I say uneventful. I’ve brought my bike because it has proved in previous years to be the best way to get around the city. It’s my preferred mode of transport in London and even though Edinburgh’s long-awaited and fabulously efficient new tram system is finally running, cycling just makes sense. My dad lent me a bike rack that he bought on a trip to Spain. I know, most holiday-makers return from sunny Spain with donkeys and sombreros… my dad came back with a bike rack. It’s just two little plastic prongs that only appear strong enough to support the weight of a toddler’s tricycle but, it held out. And I only stopped on the hard shoulder to check it was still solid 438 times.
Although the bike was firmly attached, I couldn’t lock it which meant stopping for snacks, petrol or the inevitable emergency toilet stops would be problematic. I left York with a bacon buttie, a flask of coffee and, when the urge intensified, I took myself up a country lane off the A1 to pee in a bush on a footpath. Bike intact and within view. Perfect. York to Edinburgh with just one discreet pee stop. Pretty good going for a middle-aged lady and a lovely surprise for the Bamburgh Rambling Club.
I arrived to the characteristic weather conditions of Scotland. It was ‘pishing doon’. So, even though I had remembered to pack cotton buds, a staple gun and bike lights (see previous Museletter) my first damp bike ride will be to the nearest outdoor clothing outlet to buy better quality wet weather gear. My ‘show outfit’ which reflects my publicity images, is a hawaiian shirt. Seemed like a good idea at the time. My show is called Midlife At The Oasis and the vivid fronds of palms and hibiscus flowers jauntily authenticate the joyous optimism of the show. Not so great for flyering in a constant heavy drizzle.
I send an email to a promotional company to request a quote for 200 rain ponchos to be printed with my poster on the back. Brilliant. Myself, and the fine folk of Edinburgh can stay dry and advertise my show at the same time! And, now that I’m here, advertising my show is at the forefront of my mind.
Preparing to perform at The Edinburgh Fringe in August begins in earnest, approximately seven months in advance. I did my first preview in February and wrote the copy for my brochure submission whilst on a trip to Nashville in March. Try creating catchy tag lines for a show that hasn’t actually been written yet. Then follows the poster design; a crazed evening of impulse buying an assortment of gaudy hawaiian shirts; a sunny photo shoot in my mate’s back garden; the selection of a type face, a font, a colour palette, whether or not to include a QR code and endless suggestions to ‘just move that a tiny bit to the left/to the right/up a bit/now down just a smidge…’ Thank you George Sorapure for your endless patience and tireless tweaking. Not to mention smudging out a wrinkle or two in Photoshop without me even having to ask.
Branding complete, we enter the phase I dread the most. The perpetual task of self promotion. Posts on social media, video clips and cheeky ‘pieces to camera’, and no less than five additional previews. Thank you to everyone who came and gave me helpful feedback. For laughing whole-heartedly at some of the jokes and for politely explaining why you didn’t laugh at others. For insisting that I write more songs; interact with the audience more and drop the routines that some audience members might find triggering! For commenting that I have a lovely singing voice, a warm stage presence, a very funny show and nice shoes.
Because at the end of the day it’s all about the shoes. No, sorry, it’s all about the show. All about the show. And all the show needs now is an audience. So, I’m off to The Stand to get myself a branded poncho and a fistful of flyers. If it’s still raining at 9:25pm tomorrow night, stay dry with me for an hour in The Stand 4. For you at least, the flamboyant hawaiian shirt is optional.
Midlife At The Oasis is at The Stand 4, 5 York Pl, Edinburgh EH1 3EB (0131 558 7272) from August 4th - 27th (not 14th) at 9:25pm.
Tickets available here: https://www.thestand.co.uk/fringe/1620/lara-a-king-midlife-at-the-oasis